Separate beds: No-go or relationship saver?

Separate beds – horror for a relationship?

Snuggling up in your partner's arms and waking up together the next morning – separate beds make this idyllic scenario a distant memory. Our bedroom is probably the most intimate room in our home. It is here that we long for closeness and security. Therefore, it seems incomprehensible at first to want to ban your favorite person from the bed you share. Superficially, skeptics conclude that separate beds are a sign of emotional distance and can be seen as harbingers of an imminent end to the relationship.

But this conclusion may be too rash. It is by no means a lack of affection that drives couples to want to change their sleeping habits. In truth, the reasons are complex and often understandable – and can eliminate much tension within a partnership. The result of separate sleeping spaces: happier partners who are more tolerant with each other and communicate better.

Wann sind getrennte Betten sinnvoll?

Restful sleep is rightly considered the basis of our health. If we do not sleep long enough or wake up from our slumber again and again during the night, our physical performance suffers. Our immune system becomes weaker and more susceptible to illness, and our psyche also becomes more unstable – you have likely experienced yourself how irritable you can become after a restless night. Not exactly a good prerequisite for a relaxed partnership. In truth, all too often it is our favorite person who becomes the reason for our sleepless nights. The following reasons are the main reasons it comes to quarrel in the bedroom:

• Constant snoring
• Nightly coughing fits
• Blanket tug of wars, including cold feet
• Loud teeth grinding
• Shift work
• Heavy night sweats
• A baby or toddler who is not yet sleeping through the night
• Restless sleepers that are tossing and turning

Separate beds can be a smart solution to these frequent issues in a partnership. However, it is also worth trying to eliminate the causes of restless sleep, if possible. After all, it is not only the partner of someone who grinds their teeth at night who suffers, but also the person doing it. In such a case, a visit to the dentist could ensure better sleep quality. Disputes over a blanket that is too small can also be easily avoided by buying a larger model. Other factors, such as shift work and feeding a baby cannot be quickly changed.

What are the advantages of separate beds?

Since sleep is such an individual topic, it comes as little surprise that everyone has different habits for falling asleep. Sleeping together in a double bed inevitably leads to these different habits colliding. She wants to sleep undisturbed, while he prefers to still read on his smartphone and illuminates the bedroom with blue light. Or he has put the kids to bed and wants to rest, while she wants to stay up a little longer. There are many possible disturbing factors – which is also a big problem from a medical point of view.

If we are disturbed while we sleep and our night's rest is interrupted multiple times, our deep sleep phase is shortened. However, it is precisely this phase that is essential for our physical regeneration. Couples who interfere with each other's sleep should therefore consider separate beds for the sake of their health. The separate beds enable each partner to live out his or her sleep behavior without any disturbances. Sleep deprivation is thus prevented, you both feel well rested the next morning, and are fit for the challenges of the day. The resulting good mood can also lead to a more relaxed attitude towards your partner. This added empathy decreases any possible potential for conflict, which in turn leads to a more harmonious and happier relationship overall.

What are the disadvantages of separate beds?

Do separate beds only offer advantages for a relationship? While the benefits are obvious, there are also cases where separate beds can lead to a strain on the relationship. If one or both of you have a strong need for closeness, one can feel a little lost in a single bed. When it comes to romantic togetherness, separate sleeping arrangements can also be perceived as disruptive. Not everyone is comfortable planning intimacy. Separate beds, however, call for exactly that: After all, you have to choose one of the two sleeping places and are therefore less spontaneous.

How to implement separate beds

In our society, the shared bedroom and especially the shared bed are linked with ideal concepts of perfect love. Therefore, disappointed faces can arise when one of the two partners suddenly proposes separate beds. It is important to see the problem as a shared issue that affects both partners. Only if you decide as a team, both will be happy with the decision afterwards. Therefore, if you want to talk about separate beds, it is best to proceed gently and make it clear that you do not want to jeopardize your relationship. Tell them about the chance you see for a more relaxed relationship if your sleep is no longer disturbed by snoring attacks or similar factors. Moreover, give your other half the opportunity to speak and express his or her point of view.

Once you have found a common denominator, there are several ways to implement separate beds. If the space is suited and available, you can think about creating another separate bedroom. If you do not have that much space, buying a narrow single bed or a sofa bed is an alternative option. Even a "backup mattress" for particularly noisy, restless nights may already be enough to relieve tension. It is important that this mattress is of good quality so that your partner can sleep comfortably on it. Thanks to high-quality materials such as GELTEX^®, our Swissflex mattresses ensure pleasant sleep comfort, which assures that your favorite person wakes up in a good mood the next morning.

Yes or no to separate beds?

Are separate beds automatically a relationship saver or do they give the death blow to a tarnished partnership? The answer is: neither. The success or failure of a relationship cannot be measured solely by the individual design of the bedroom. Lack of physical closeness and increasing emotional distance are often the real culprits that bring about the end of a partnership. Separate bedrooms should not be used as an excuse to distance oneself even further from the estranged partner. For couples who are happy with each other and satisfied with their intimacy, separate beds, on the other hand, can be a new inspiration for their relationship.